Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

So, today was one of those days that you know going in, it's going to be hectic at best with the potential of being a waking nightmare. I took my boys to have their pictures taken. Now, this isn't something I've done for a really long time. It's expensive and the shots haven't always been wonderful. But there was a Groupon for $16 for nearly $200 in photographs, so I decided to take a chance. How bad could it be?

The day started out with a plan, but any plans involving a 5 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old are dicey from the start. I laid out the kids' clothes and kept them naked until I was almost ready to go out the door. The Bear, however, found a Father's Day chocolate left abandoned out in the open. No problem, he's naked. Enjoy your chocolate, son. Somehow, though, he managed to get in a wrestling match with his brother, rolled over onto the shirt I had for him and DROOLED chocolate onto the collar. Sigh. So, it IS possible to get your clothes dirty EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING THEM. So, I had to take a few minutes to rinse the collar out and then dry the shirt with a blow dryer. It looked almost clean.

Once we got to the photography store, they checked us in and took us back. The boys were excited about having their pictures taken, which was hopeful. The photographer was less than thrilled, which is odd since this place shoots almost nothing but children. He placed my kids (manhandled them really) and proceeded to bark at them for the next half hour. Put your hands down. Close your mouth. Stand still. These are legitimate things to say when photographing children (which is probably as difficult as training fleas for the circus) but I wasn't so sure his tone needed to be quite so gruff (the language I used in my head to refer to him was far less G rated). At one point he turned to me and said, "You're kids are really good listeners." Really? Thanks. How about not yelling at them then.

By the 11th pose my 1 year old was all done and announced that any further pictures taken of him would include red eyes and a pouty lip. So we called it day. We waited for 15 minutes while he processed them and I should have known I was pressing my luck. The place was set up for kids to run around a bit, so I let them expend a little energy. By the time the pictures were ready to view they were nearly wild with having been good for far too long. I looked over the pictures, chose the ones I liked best (while trying to manage the quickly disintegrating situation around me: Don't climb on the table. Stop pulling your brother's arm. Stop screaming!!) I picked the best shot of the three boys and a few others (of course we all knew this would happen) and waited for the pictures to print out. She brought them out and I realized to my horror that I'd chosen (for my Groupon package that included 8 color pages) of a shot where my 5 year old had one eye almost closed. Hand to forehead.

I took the boys to Chick Fil A as promised and collapsed in the chair while they inhaled nuggets and fries. It'll be a while, I think, before we try this one again. Unless the Groupon is too hard to resist!