Plans

I hate change. Really. Perhaps it's because we moved around a lot when I was a kid. New schools, new friends. And most of the changes we faced weren't entirely pleasant (like the repossession of our mobile home and many times not having enough money to buy groceries). As an adult, I really like to know what to expect and when. I'm a chronic list-maker. I make lists of my lists. Before kids I did this because I was (am) a touch OCD. Now I do them because if I don't put "Brush Your Teeth" down in writing, it really may not happen. Sad, but true. That's why I find it interesting/challenging/boundary-pushing that God seems to be calling our family lately to live in a constant state of change. So far in 2014, He has called us out of long-held relationships, out of our church of nearly 14 years and we feel him calling us out of the neighborhood and home we've had for well over a decade. I've said yes to things that will take more time and effort than I am usually comfortable with at this stage in my life. Sometimes I look at my my many to-do lists and wonder what on earth I was thinking. But looking back over the year of change, it looks very much like God is tilling up the fallow ground in our lives, preparing us for a planting of something new. A few weeks ago I was sitting in church, contemplating all the new things in our lives and wondering what it all means. I felt God speak to my spirit, so gently and quietly. "I have something better for you. Something better than you could imagine." And because God knows I'm not easily convinced, mere moments later the pastor spoke those same words. "He has something better for you." Our family made its annual trek to Topsail Island, North Carolina in early July. As usual I planned several weeks in advance. Made my lists. Checked them twice. Prepared the eight hour car ride almost down to the minute with games, treats and movies. That schedule included a stop at the Chick-Fil-A in Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina. We usually stop there for lunch and let the kids play and blow off steam for about an hour before we put them back in the car. The trip was going along smoothly and all of my plans were working out. Success! Until we arrived at Chick-Fil-A. It was slammed, but that's always the case so I wasn't too stressed. We got our food, miraculously found a table to accommodate everyone in our family and all was well. Until we saw the sign in front of the play area that said it was being cleaned. We asked how long this would take. About an hour. Seriously? You chose lunchtime on a Saturday to clean your play area? I was irritated. I wanted to speak to management. In the meantime, my kids decided it would be a good time to hold a wrestling match on the floor. My husband, who is always calm and cool, whipped out his phone and opened up an aerial map of where we were. There was a baseball field tucked behind the shopping center across the street. We put the kids back in the car and in less than 60 seconds we pulled in front of the baseball field. But it wasn't just a baseball field. There was also a playground, some swings and a huge shade tree. The kids burst out of the car, shrieking with joy and descended on the playground like locusts over a field. As I sat under the shade tree with my baby playing in the grass and a cool breeze blowing I heard God speak to me again. So sweetly, so softly. "See, I have something better for you than you can plan for yourself. Something you couldn't have even known." Yes, I smiled. This is better. I don't know why He has set us on this course. I don't know why we've said so many tearful goodbyes. I don't even know where He wants us to move after we sell our home, I just know He doesn't want us to stay here. I do know that His plans are better. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11